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The Con Merchant 386

Posted on June 28, 2025 by

Back in the 1980s and 1990s, before the internet, scammers used to have to work a bit harder to cheat people than they do now.

A popular method was to advertise a “clearance sale” in the press. You’d see an ad in the Daily Record or a local paper for an event in a High Street location – typically a vacant shop – promising brand-new TVs for £20, microwaves for a fiver, toasters for £2.50 or whatever. So you’d show up on the day and it always worked the same.

There’d be the ringmaster on a raised platform, surrounded by loads of unmarked white boxes, and he’d start off by picking some “random” punter from the crowd and bestowing gifts upon him. This guy would walk away with armfuls of swag for £25 or something (doubtless just going straight round the back with them), and the real show would begin.

Next the ringmaster would say “Now, before we get properly started, who’ll give me £10 for what’s on my mind?” (that phrase, “what’s on my mind”, was always the same). And basically they were flogging a mystery box, invariably containing a few trashy trinkets worth a fraction of the cost.

Any chump who bought one would then be escorted out of the shop before opening it, on the pretence that the bargains on offer in these sales were so great that they were limited to one per person. (There was always security on the door, sometimes even cops. There’s nothing intrinsically illegal about selling mystery boxes, even mainstream chainstores still do it today.)

And that was basically it. The ringmaster would delay and delay, punting more mystery boxes and never actually getting to the bit where you could buy a specific item at a specific price, and after a couple of hours the event would close down and the would-be customers would disperse in disgruntlement.

Now here’s John Swinney.

He’s got a mystery box to sell you.

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The Art Of Noise 38

Posted on June 27, 2025 by

Genuinely, can anyone tell us what the heck this actually means?

Because to us, it’s just meaningless quacking to fill a void.

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What Anas Actually Said 96

Posted on May 29, 2025 by

The entire Scottish media and professional-politician community is currently in a self-righteous froth about a campaign ad being run by Reform for the Hamilton by-election targeting Scottish Labour leader Anas Sarwar.

Obviously none of the acres of press coverage trusts voters to see the ad and decide for themselves, because that simply isn’t how journalism works nowadays. You’re told that a bad thing happened – whether it be a campaign ad, a comedian’s joke or the supposed terrible abuse sent to a celebrity – and how outraged various pundits or other celebrities are about it, with the clear implication that you should feel the same, but you almost never get shown or told what was actually said.

So to start with, as a basic journalistic principle, here’s the ad itself in its entirety.

Now let’s look at what you’re being ordered to think about it.

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The Takeover 268

Posted on April 28, 2025 by

There comes a point when even the most liberal and tolerant have to ask questions.

The above clip comes from a 2022 fundraising dinner celebrating the 75th anniversary of Pakistan’s independence. But Anas Sarwar seems to want to take things a little bit further than that.

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Unhinged Malady 166

Posted on April 23, 2025 by

Yesterday the Scottish media gave Scottish Greens MSP Maggie Chapman what she’s never willingly given anyone else – a platform on which to make her case.

Most did a very poor job challenging her on her outrageous comments about the Supreme Court, with BBC Radio Scotland’s Drivetime show being an especially wretched example of allowing the interviewee to ignore every question and then just ramble on endlessly about something else entirely, but LBC’s Gina Davidson was on top of her brief and put all the points that reasonable people wanted to be made, while giving Chapman ample time to answer uninterrupted.

Let’s break down how that went, with the help of our handy Bullshit Buzzer.

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The Disgrace Of Holyrood 125

Posted on April 22, 2025 by

At the weekend, Scottish Greens MSP Maggie Chapman was filmed applauding as a notoriously unhinged transactivist ranted through a megaphone to a small and almost exclusively male crowd of protestors about how he was going to openly break the law by continuing to use women’s public toilets, and addressing JK Rowling with the words “We should all take a shite on you, you heinous creeping old bitch”.

At another protest, Chapman herself asserted that the Supreme Court’s unanimous ruling on the correct interpretation of the Equality Act 2010 was motivated by not by a solemn consideration of the law or by the arguments of counsel who appeared before it, but by “bigotry, prejudice and hatred”.

Chapman is – incredibly – Deputy Convener of the Equalities, Human Rights and Civil Justice Committee of the Scottish Parliament, and as such her comments sparked a storm of wholly justified outrage over her flagrant breach not only of Parliamentary rules but also of the law – specifically the Judiciary and Courts (Scotland) Act 2008, which requires all MSPs to uphold the independence of the judiciary.

But Chapman today refused to back down.

And the call for consequences has grown far beyond the usual suspects.

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The Peacemaker 51

Posted on April 21, 2025 by

Regular readers of Wings won’t need any reminding that Dani Garavelli of the Herald is, among some very stiff competition, one of the most contemptible pieces of nightsoil currently operating in the Scottish media.

But if you’re new here, we can give you a quick illustration.

If the sneering piety of that opening paragraph made you feel a little revolted, a bit angry and somewhat nauseous, then congratulations, because that means you’re still something minimally approximating to a decent human being. But unfortunately it gets a lot worse from there.

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The Moral Vacuum 89

Posted on April 17, 2025 by

Scottish Greens candidate and transactivist Matt “Ellie” Gomersall, with whom Wings readers will be familiar, appeared on the Jeremy Vine show today and blundered straight into an elephant trap a myopic mole could have seen coming on a foggy night.

Having just embarked on a diatribe in which he dismissed as “ridiculous” the idea that predatory men would ever pretend to be transwomen to gain access to vulnerable women, Vine asked him about Adam “Isla Bryson” Graham, the convicted double rapist that even hapless Humza Yousaf felt able to confidently assert was “at it”.

Having just painted himself into a corner, Gomersall was then embarrassingly unable to disown Bryson as a “real” transwoman, thereby implicitly admitting that transwomen do indeed present a danger to women in exactly the same way that predatory men do, and torpedoing his entire core point that it was unfair to “discriminate” against them in exactly the same way single-sex spaces discriminate against non-trans men.

(Outrageously, earlier in the speech he’d tried to claim that it was only natural that some transwomen would be sex offenders because some biological women were.)

It’s tempting to believe that Gomersall was demonstrating an intellectual vacuum by making such vacuously cretinous arguments and failing to spot even the most obvious pitfalls in them, but the truth is far worse. Gomersall, and people like him, know that they’re lying (which is why they always try to silence opponents), but they lack the moral courage to face up to the fact that the inevitable price of their lies is vulnerable women being raped by what he revoltingly waves away as “fringe cases”.

All rapists are fringe cases. 95% of men would never dream of raping anyone. But we discriminate against ALL men in women’s spaces because you can’t tell which ones are rapists by looking. Men like “Ellie” Gomersall, though, think that the price of a few women being raped is worth paying to validate their delusions and fetishes (in his case, the creepy fetish of skinwalking as his pretty sister), and they don’t even have the shred of decency to bother coming up with a coherent line of bullshit to cover it.

The End Of The Reich 219

Posted on February 10, 2025 by

For 10 years in Germany between 1935 and 1945, Jewish people were not legally human. The Nuremberg Laws, drafted in large part by Wilhelm Stuckart, established the principle in law that Jews were to be denied any rights on the basis that they were untermensch, a German word literally meaning “subhuman”.

It would be, to say the least, highly controversial for anyone to put forward in 2025 the idea that Jewish people had actually ceased to be human beings during that period, even though the various laws had been passed by a legitimately-elected government in peacetime and attracted little in the way of international condemnation.

The truth is that regardless of what the law said, Jewish people remained humans for the whole time, which is why Nazi war criminals were tried after the war for “crimes against humanity”. The passing of a law had had absolutely no effect on their biological reality. (Other than that it led to millions of them being murdered, of course.)

But anyway. Nicola Sturgeon.

Is the above how she imagined her feminist legacy, do you think, readers?

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The Great Hollowing 140

Posted on January 20, 2025 by

The wild thing about this poll isn’t the headline that six months after winning a massive landslide majority, Keir Starmer now trails Nigel Farage – leader of a party with five MPs to Starmer’s 411 – as the electorate’s choice for best Prime Minister.

It’s the little grey numbers sitting quietly at the bottom.

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Inability To Learn 194

Posted on January 12, 2025 by

Y’know, maybe we were a little harsh on the lads at Holyrood Sources yesterday when we implied that a more direct and aggressive interviewing style might have cut through John Swinney and Kate Forbes’ pathetically feeble waffling evasion on the SNP’s lack of an independence strategy in their recent podcast.

But the closest thing (along with Colin Mackay at STV) that the Scottish media has left to a proper Rottweiler interviewer – Peter Adam Smith of ITV – had a shot at that five years ago and didn’t do any better.

Smith noted that even back in 2019 Nicola Sturgeon had been droning on about how Westminster’s refusal to grant a second indy referendum was “unsustainable” for two years already. But no matter how hard he pressed, Sturgeon just kept on glibly and smugly insisting that they’d concede.

“The UK government strategy is to say no. Do you have a way around it?”

“My strategy is to say yes.” [smirks]

Readers might be forgiven for wondering how long it’s going to take the SNP to accept that that “strategy” is a failure, if seven years and three First Ministers isn’t enough for them to have worked it out. But as long as the pathologically gullible keep voting for them anyway, we suppose they have no reason to.

In Ruins 164

Posted on January 11, 2025 by

Don’t watch this. You’ll only waste 12 minutes of your life making yourself angry.

It’s our job to be angry for you.

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    • Young Lochinvar on The Con Merchant: “The Med? Hmmm.. More than a little mendacious (again) there P3nisbreath, by Med would you mean in tangential language the…Jul 5, 03:24
    • Young Lochinvar on The Con Merchant: “Captain Caveman @11.56 Well well well Fred “Estrogen” Flintstone.. You had ancestors in the forces in WW2! Clearly their honourable…Jul 5, 03:09
    • Young Lochinvar on The Con Merchant: “Reply to P3nisbreath McP3nisbreathface @9.58. Wearing a fez.. Who exactly?? Tommy Cooper? If not, well, you sure have a serious…Jul 5, 02:22
    • Mark Beggan on Too Tight To Mention: “Gee I’m all cut and sore. Why dya go an say that. Made me cryJul 5, 00:16
    • DaveL on Too Tight To Mention: “I came across an article concerning Cape Verde celebrating 50 years of independence. Listening to the infestation here of unionist…Jul 4, 23:45
    • Young Lochinvar on Too Tight To Mention: ““Those who do not understand their past have no future”; meaning they are destined to keep making the same mistakes..Jul 4, 23:25
    • Young Lochinvar on Too Tight To Mention: “Yet P3nisbreath, even though I point you in the direction of actual facts, you don’t even read it and carry…Jul 4, 23:21
    • Young Lochinvar on Too Tight To Mention: “Donate your excess to the local foodbank?Jul 4, 23:10
    • Young Lochinvar on The Con Merchant: “Mary Queen of Scots was brought up speaking Scots and in France that language became her second language. During her…Jul 4, 22:59
    • Young Lochinvar on The Con Merchant: “Is that right P3nisbreath? Well there ye go. Do a post count on any given day and I think you’ll…Jul 4, 22:46
    • Hatey McHateface on Too Tight To Mention: ““Some low IQ example will be along in a minute” Whoops! My bad, I called it wrong. Not a minute…Jul 4, 22:35
    • Young Lochinvar on Too Tight To Mention: “I think you’ve just described yersel! Cheery bye-barnacle/ bottom feeder.. Indy Scotland should metaphorically sheath the hull in copper to…Jul 4, 22:28
    • Young Lochinvar on Too Tight To Mention: “Wrong, wrong and just plain wrong again. Factchecker, you aren’t living up to your nom de guerre and really shouldn’t…Jul 4, 22:15
    • Hatey McHateface on The Con Merchant: “Ah, YL Sah! You do us all a power of good. Friday night, middle of summer to boot, lots of…Jul 4, 22:09
    • Hatey McHateface on The Con Merchant: ““So which colonising strand really presents the biggest threat?” It’s not rocket science, Alf. The one with the explosive vests…Jul 4, 21:58
    • Hatey McHateface on Too Tight To Mention: “Ah yes, CM. He was a friend to Scotland once. Not any more. If he’s on your side, Alf, give…Jul 4, 21:49
    • sarah on Too Tight To Mention: “I do support Liberate and would like it if every independence party/grouping came under its umbrella. However I doubt that…Jul 4, 21:45
    • Young Lochinvar on The Con Merchant: “Is that it Penisbreath? Hmmm.. Bit short and off the cuff there, catch you busy at the Gloryhole did the…Jul 4, 21:16
    • sarah on Too Tight To Mention: “It says a lot about Mrs Nicola Murrell’s humanity that she isn’t helping poor old Pete with his legal costs…Jul 4, 21:16
    • sarah on Too Tight To Mention: “@ diabloandco: benign neglect has resulted in me now having 2 raspberry beds instead of one and many outliers! You…Jul 4, 21:12
    • Sven on Too Tight To Mention: “Castoreum comes from Beavers’ Butts, eh. If it’s used in Nutella then perhaps an association of ideas led to Mr…Jul 4, 20:32
    • diabloandco on Too Tight To Mention: “Dan and Sarah , spare a thought for those of us who pick both fruits 2 at a time every…Jul 4, 20:04
    • Alf Baird on The Con Merchant: ““So which colonising strand really presents the biggest threat?” Important question, Hatey. Our friends Memmi, Fanon and Cesaire appear unanimous…Jul 4, 19:58
    • Anthem on Too Tight To Mention: “Lies, deceit, yes, we know.Jul 4, 19:38
    • Anthem on Too Tight To Mention: “Mark. We don’t want you or your ilk. What’s so hard to understand?Jul 4, 19:34
    • Alf Baird on Too Tight To Mention: “Great journalism by Craig Murray, Liberation Scotland’s ambassador to the UN. Meanwhile faux independence ‘leader’ Swinney has signed Scotland up…Jul 4, 19:31
    • Hatey McHateface on The Con Merchant: “He’s back! He’s sober? He’s fretting about shirt lifters! He’s taken near 12 hours to put that effort together :)…Jul 4, 19:06
    • sarah on Too Tight To Mention: “Dan, I think the Rev has shown us over the last few years through his coverage of “Pride” events, that…Jul 4, 19:04
    • Andrew scott on Too Tight To Mention: “#mark Agree he is as boring as fcuk with all his historical dribblings Usually NOTHING TO DO WITH THE REVS…Jul 4, 19:03
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